Tuesday, 01 July 2008
-
When I run headlong into idealism, my first response is to roll my eyes and walk away. My second is to formulate a snarky, crushing response and keep it to myself. (Okay, many days the crushing response comes first.)
I was reading around Revelife today and found a post by a young woman speaking about how she was raised and how it informs her Christianity now. She spoke about how she views submission between husbands and wives. She then wondered aloud why so many Christians go on and on about it, because in her mind, it's pretty simple: when you love someone, submitting to them is a natural part of the equation.
Oh my, to be so idealistic again.
When the poster said the concepts of submissive wife and leadership in the husband aren't rocket science, I knew I had to post something.
Of course these truths aren't rocket science. Everything about the Christianity is pretty simple. That doesn't mean that following the precepts of the faith is simple. In fact, most of the time, staying faithful to what you know to be God's will is bloody hard, and the reason people continue to write books about submission/leadership in marriage is because submitting yourself, particularly in marriage, is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life.
Laying down your desires for another does not come naturally. Just because I fell in love didn't diminish my selfishness one iota. And just because I'm married for 30 years doesn't mean it isn't a struggle now. We all know how hard it is NOT to eat the last of something--like chips--when we know someone else likes them too. And not to insist on watching our favorite program when their's is on at the same time. Or, for married people, submit to having sex when our spouse needs it but we really don't. And then there is dealing with the disappointment of what I may perceive as failed leadership on his part. And there are times when I need to be lifted up spiritually, but it's not forthcoming.
There is an old saying, "familarity breeds contempt." It is one of the truest things I know. When you've been intimate with someone physically, emotionally, spiritually, leagally, monetarily and in every other way imaginable, over time you gain knowledge of them. You know all the right buttons to push, and you know all the faults and follies. And the hardest thing you will ever do is NOT use that knowledge against your spouse when they are weak, or tired, or unkind towards you. There are moments in a marriage when the only prayer is: "God close my mouth." Just staying still is hard enough, but submitting, oh my, that simple concept seems to be impossible.
If you are pitying my husband for being married to such a blister as me, don't. He's got it very good and he tells the guys at work that all the time. And I am extraordinarily fortunate to be married to a man who loves me truly unconditionally. We shouldn't still be married, but we are by the grace of God. We have just learned that the ideal of "submission/leadership is simple" is an ideal. Rarely are any human endeavors ideal.
Take care--Susan Kaye
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment