In the summer, I usually have nothing to do. We don't go on vacations so the days are just a warmer version of our winter routine. Not so much the next two weeks.

Wednesday I'm going up north to visit a friend in Idaho. I'm taking the bus so there will be plenty of people watching opportunities.

On Sunday, entries begin to come in for a writing contest I'm judging. I'm not sure how long I have to read the unknown number of stories.

Then, on Thursday of next week my mother and brother arrive for a long weekend of yakking and noshing.

By the 21st, I'm going to be pooped.

Have fun--Susan Kaye

When I run headlong into idealism, my first response is to roll my eyes and walk away. My second is to formulate a snarky, crushing response and keep it to myself. (Okay, many days the crushing response comes first.)

I was reading around Revelife today and found a post by a young woman speaking about how she was raised and how it informs her Christianity now. She spoke about how she views submission between husbands and wives. She then wondered aloud why so many Christians go on and on about it, because in her mind, it's pretty simple: when you love someone, submitting to them is a natural part of the equation.

Oh my, to be so idealistic again.

When the poster said the concepts of submissive wife and leadership in the husband aren't rocket science, I knew I had to post something.

Of course these truths aren't rocket science. Everything about the Christianity is pretty simple. That doesn't mean that following the precepts of the faith is simple. In fact, most of the time, staying faithful to what you know to be God's will is bloody hard, and the reason people continue to write books about submission/leadership in marriage is because submitting yourself, particularly in marriage, is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life.

Laying down your desires for another does not come naturally. Just because I fell in love didn't diminish my selfishness one iota. And just because I'm married for 30 years doesn't mean it isn't a struggle now. We all know how hard it is NOT to eat the last of something--like chips--when we know someone else likes them too. And not to insist on watching our favorite program when their's is on at the same time. Or, for married people, submit to having sex when our spouse needs it but we really don't. And then there is dealing with the disappointment of what I may perceive as failed leadership on his part. And there are times when I need to be lifted up spiritually, but it's not forthcoming.

There is an old saying, "familarity breeds contempt." It is one of the truest things I know. When you've been intimate with someone physically, emotionally, spiritually, leagally, monetarily and in every other way imaginable, over time you gain knowledge of them. You know all the right buttons to push, and you know all the faults and follies. And the hardest thing you will ever do is NOT use that knowledge against your spouse when they are weak, or tired, or unkind towards you. There are moments in a marriage when the only prayer is: "God close my mouth." Just staying still is hard enough, but submitting, oh my, that simple concept seems to be impossible.

If you are pitying my husband for being married to such a blister as me, don't. He's got it very good and he tells the guys at work that all the time. And I am extraordinarily fortunate to be married to a man who loves me truly unconditionally. We shouldn't still be married, but we are by the grace of God. We have just learned that the ideal of "submission/leadership is simple" is an ideal. Rarely are any human endeavors ideal.

Take care--Susan Kaye

from editing to blog.

Since starting this blog, I've been trying to come up with a catchy title. My other Xanga blog is: "I Had to Laugh," which my writing woes, online stories, and book news. I think I'm going to keep that name here as well.

The name itself is not liken to the biblical principle of laughter doing good like medicine, but more a cynical take: if I don't laugh, I'll cry. And never stop. I am fairly wary, cynical, difficult to know and someone who watches closely before engaging with people or situations. But, I am funny and I laugh a lot. Kind of a sour patch gummy candy rolled in caramel covered in chocolate.

Anyway, "I Had to Laugh" it is. That will make it easy to remember. both Revelife and Xanga have the same passwords, and now the same titles. How long will it take for me to forget?

Take care--Susan Kaye

While reading a post in which the writer asked genuine questions about Christianity, they said they thought children should be exposed to many different religions and allowed to choose when they were old enough. The inference was that raising your child exclusively in the tenets of a particular faith was too narrow and, I suppose, assumed to be harmful or stifling to the child.

I hear this reasoning quite a bit, but it seems to me that in most things people really don't live that way.

Firstly, trying to expose a child to a wide variety of religious belief would be so time consuming you'd have little time for any other sort of moral studies. Comparative  religion classes barely touch on the major religions of the world and their various permutations, much less more obscure regional religions on the major continents. Not that I think you should not try, but if you are really going to take seriously the responsibility of offering your children even a fraction of their choices, you've got your work cut out for you.

Secondly, it seems that the area of religion is the only vital aspect of a child's growth that we throw open the door and offer everything as equal.

I know being staunchly anti abortion I never took my children to a pro abortion rally. And I am sure that very few, if any, pro abortionists have ever taken their children to a pro life rally. This is a subject which is not either, or, sorta, or maybe in the minds of most people. There is a definite right and wrong to most and that is what we tend to teach our kids. I also very much doubt that people who are vegans on moral principle serve their children any kind of meat, fish, dairy or poultry. To believe that "meat is murder" is a pretty nonnegotiable I would imagine. Do pacifists take their kids to war movies and boxing matches to give the other side an equal hearing?  I know as a Conservative who tends to vote Republican, (reluctantly most times), I did not, and do not, shy away from talking to my children about why my beliefs are "better." And this is the case when it comes to my Christianity.

I think many people have visions of "Carrie" and her mother's psychotic version of belief. Or they think that most of us rubes that the likes of the latest Elmer Gantry so easily sways. If those examples were true for most of Christianity, I would say the throw-all-the-mud-on-the-wall method of religious training would probably be a good idea. But what I have noticed over time is that most people who say that kids should get this theoretical, well-rounded education don't get anything at all.

There seems to be a notion that religion is absorbed like cultural oxygen. In the course of a day you may encounter many different practitioners of various religions, but considering the complexity and importance of the subject, leaving it to chance, or fate, is probably not the best idea.

My children were raised in a very conservative religious fashion. We have been pretty nondenominational for the most part, and there have been times when my husband and I have disagreed on secondary doctrines espoused by the church we were attending at the time. But, we have always been open with our kids that you have to be discerning when it comes to your belief and you must equip yourself to judge what comes from the pulpit. We have also taught them that believers must love one another when they disagree. Bottom line is that we did teach them what we believe to be the truth. It only seems reasonable to say we believe Christianity to be the truth when that is what we live. To say Christianity it is only one of many options, and therefore a preference means I ought to give it up and sleep in on Sundays.

My children are now 20 and 22. They are making their way in the world and making their own decision. they are deciding for themselves what churches to attend, and how they will live out their Christianity. Or how they will reject it. And how they will deal with Mom when they tell her.

If they do reject our faith, they will still be loved, but I will not stop praying for them. And while I may listen to them explain their new beliefs--or lack of beliefs which is more likely to be the case--it will always be so I can counter with what I believe to be the truth.

Yes, it's pretty narrow-minded on my part. But we all are pretty narrow-minded. Jane Austen said in one of her novels that we all think our way is best. I think she's right.

Take care--Sue

The first post of a blog is always strange. So, basic bio facts:
 

1. 50 years old this year. (No, I'm not particularly bothered by aging.)
2. I've been married for 30 years. (Yes, I was comparatively young when I got married.)
3. I've been a believer for over 25 years. (No, I can't tell you the day or date. That's why I say "over 25 years.")
4. My oldest child is 22, turning 23 this year, and my youngest just turned 20. (Yes, they are THE greatest kids in the world.)
5. I'm a published author with two books out and lots of fiction writing on the web. (No, I'm not what you would call a "Christian writer.")
6. Our dog doesn't like me. (There is no good reason for this, but it does make it easier to justify my not liking HER.)
7. I teach women's bible studies in our church. (I'm not teaching right now and won't until I feel "lead." I don't care for that term, but all I can say is that I know when I should be teaching and when I shouldn't be.)
8. I'm a night owl and an early bird. (My husband has to get up at 4AM and I get up to cook breakfast. Sometimes I meet him in the kitchen never having been to bed.

Well, tonight is not one of those nights to stay up. I'm off to bed.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.

Take care--Susan Kaye